Fate The Nebulan Phoenix

2010-10-25T15:08:00.002+08:00

Dear baby,
Happy 19th Birthday! hope you're doing great in tekong, well you are... dont ever say that your birthday is nothing, its something okay!-.-It is a celebration of that person's life, alright?
i hope you're having fun with your crazy bunkmates there :) ULTRA-CRAZY! hope that your wishes comes true :)

have fun in tekong and when you come back we go jalan - jalan again okay?:)
ohh and and,i had fun eating with your family the other day:)
gee gee gee gee baby baby baby~ ;D

i love you precious! take care alright? *kisses to you everywhere*

every problems has its own solutions.

2010-10-04T15:48:00.007+08:00

hellurrrr!! helluurrrrr!!

i just wanna update this dusty blog of fate's.

i'll just update something for your blog.

im waking you up to save you..

i know it is very hard for us baby.

i too want you and feel the same like we use to, like you said Normal.

i want that too baby.

It is true what you've said "relationships has its part and parcel but we dont have to go through all of it by choice."

it is baby.

yeap baby, i really hope that you trust me. i love you too baby. i wont ever do that ever again.

i already ________ if not i would just ___. remember what i already told you baby.

yea im just selfish to myself and others. Really Selfish. I'm stupid. i only think about myself.

but when i say i love you i really mean it baby, i really do.

yes i do remember that right form the start baby.

but im scared after whatever that you've told me im really very scared baby.

no more of these stuffs of course.

I wish to grow old with you too, breathing by your side. I am afraid too. Losing you would make me no different from a walking zombie. Losing you, would be like losing my soul..

I need you to be whole, because without you I'm just half of myself. And of course you are an essential part of my life too. I don't know what to do without you, I would be so lost for direction. I wouldn't know what to do when I get up in the morning, I wouldn't remember what happiness means anymore. I'd probably be in a daze every second, thinking why I lost you.

even if you knocked down, i'll still be there right by your side baby, with what i've got to help you remember. i get speechless and just teared when i read your post for me. you dont have to apologize baby. its not your fault at all. i deserve it tho'. i deeply understand you baby. i dont have to forgive you because you didnt do anything baby. i'll just take your hand and we'll do what we have to baby.

i love you so much md herrizal hassan

I'll take your hands and we'll go baby

Dnie F.

2010-07-13T18:04:00.018+08:00

heyya,

dnie's here
updating my baby's blog((:
so tmr's our 5 month anniversary.

can't wait to meet you baby.
okay im really speechless now.
i don't have anything interesting to say for now.
i'll try to find something interesting the next time i update for you alright?

*Lots of loves and misses, hugs and kisses!*

dnie(:

2010-07-07T02:41:00.002+08:00

Had a great day with Baby today.

She scared me for a moment!

When i fetched her, she was standing still.

With her hair let downwards to her face,

I thought something was wrong,

Then she told me that she only wanted the wind.

LOL.

Chicken Butt Butt~

Face for you baby.

-______________________-

Haha,

Then i went for practice.

No one was there.

I just recovered from a slight fever.

But I still feel a bit weak.

Well now i'm watching the semis,

GO NETHERLANDS !!!!!!

Wooohoooo! :DD

2010-07-06T02:00:00.002+08:00

Gee, the house has been quiet eversince.

I just hope that Grandpa is doing good and happy over at Malacca.

Though i can't deny that i miss him even though only 2 days had just passed.

Well, i hope you take good care of yourself over there Grandpa!

Don't forget us. :/

Once upon a time, there lived a Pingu and a Panda.

They lived in a land of snow which was vanilla ice cream,

Christmas trees that were chocolates, rain that pours caramel,

And ice that were the surface of paddlepops!

They lived in a house of candies!

Hahaha okay okay what the Fish, i'm so random.

Cause i've no idea what to update about. Heee ;P

2010-07-02T00:54:00.002+08:00

Sometimes i wonder.

You show a bite sign.

God damn it,

Do you even know what's the meaning of bite?

Pissed off much,

That was part of malaysia, but most of the time there was Superb.

Food, food and more food ;)

Tomorrow is the official day for Youth Gig.

Last minute crew is also what we are known as.

Hahaha.

Amazing.

And i've yet to do my speech tomorrow!

Kinda nervous but it's all good.

Gonna enjoy tomorrow.

My mom once told me,

The days that we've wasted, are the days that we didn't laugh and smile.

P.S : I MISS ARDINI :/

2010-06-26T02:52:00.002+08:00

Alright ive just bathed.

Now waiting for C.A to fetch me and Freeze.

Off to Malaysia for 3 days!

Floor combat 2010.

Win or lose it doesnt matter.

What matters is representing and having fun.

Ohh yes My Dnie,

Please do not be disheartened okay?

I'll be back as soon as you'll know it.

Take good care of yourself and don't worry about me.

Be a good girl, and anything i will definitely text you okay?

Ohhh i won't be naughty!

But only with you ;)

I will drink lots of water and maintain myself.

Just what you've adviced me to do sweetheart.

So wait for me baby,

See you on Monday. :D

I am ALREADY missing you so MUCH!

And I will always love you, Baby.

*Panda Kissies*

2010-06-21T04:26:00.002+08:00

Ahhhh man just finished remixing a new song for Youth Gig.

Well i'm contented after busting out all my brain cells.

I hope everything turns out fine this week.

Hardcore practice all the way for 5 days.

Baby will be back on Tuesday.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH...........................

Panda cant get to sleep you know.

Hmph hmph!

I've been so bored.

World cup matches have been quite boring.

Geeeez what a turn off.

I'll sleep now cause it's already 4.30 am!

2010-06-19T12:36:00.002+08:00

Ohhhh damn ~

My cutey T-bam T-bam went to Malaysia already.

Be back home quick please!

I want my bamboos...

Hmph hmph!

Hope you have a safe trip throughout.

And most importantly, HAVE FUN!

Don't have to think or worry about anything.

I love and miss you Silly Baby SRI.

:) :D ;) ;D

Alright.

BOTY SG today.

I'm so confused of the timings!

See ya!

2010-06-14T16:57:00.002+08:00

Sorry for being dusty here!
I was just too lazy to update though i had many boring times.

Well today's my 4th monthsary with my Baby.
And we already celebrated it in advance last Saturday.
I had a blast with her, and shes so amazing.
Usually, there will be so many reasons to state why you love a person,
But for me, i get so speechless when I'm with her.
It's hard to find a reason why i love her.
Cause i just simply love here sincerely from deep within.

And when I'm with her, we just connect with each other so well.
When our fingers are interlocked, it fell so right.
And i can read her mind. From her eyes.
Which is so beautiful.
I love you, trust me, and i hope we last til our skins are pruned.
:)

Okay yesterday i went to URBAN FLOORMIX.
WACK WACK WACK WACK.
Such wackness! Cant stand the wackness.
The only dopest shit were only the cyphers and all the groups yesterday.
Sound system wack, most of the people are wack.
There were like Matreps over there and Wannabes too.
They stare at people like they think they all that.
But they're not! Irritating bunch of faggots.

Oh yeahh wanna make a clear shoutout.
YO.
I know some of ya'll are hiphop.
But do you know Hip-hop in deep knowledge?
Fcuk you i tell you.
You think you know? Think again.
You think you all that? THINK again.
Don't go around criticizing people when they're done with what they're doin.
STRAIGHT UP.
Hip-hop we all dont do things the same.
All of us have different things to potray SO RESPECT IT.

AS LONG AS WE ALL LEARN TO HAVE FUN AND LOVE WHAT WE'RE DOING,
It's all good!
Motherfucker! Next time any of yous people who gotta problem and wanna front,
Front face to face!
You don't know who you frontin with!!

The COMMERCIALIZED ARE BULLSHIT.
Thats why the REAL don't go up to mainstream.
And don't even initiate a point of time where all the REAL HEADS
Get up to the mainstream and show what's really all that and HIP-HOP.

Feel me?
If you don't, don't comment.
Smile.
AND WALK AWAY.

;)

2010-05-29T03:53:00.001+08:00

Day 5 -

Did I tell you that I love you?
You showed me that you did.
Many nights you called me,
You cried when I was sick.

Did I tell you that I love you?
You always calmed my fears,
You sought answers to my questions,
You wiped away my tears.

Did I tell you that I love you?
In a thousand ways,
When my heart was breaking,
You gave me comfort on those days.

Did I tell you that I love you?
You brought a smile when I had none,
When I wanted just to sit down,
You made me rise again to run.

Did I tell you that I love you?
Yes! All along I knew,
You must know in your heart,
How much that I love you.

If you could only witness,
The sights that I now see,
You would't ask for me, to come back,
You would someday, come to me...

2010-05-28T02:57:00.000+08:00

Day 4 -

I know the point when liking someone

quickly turns to love.

When I open up my diary,

And you're all of the above.

Having all the characteristics,

of the list I wrote on you.

With a check in all the boxes,

that are too good to be true.

I've been dying just to take the time,

to tell you how I feel.

How we're destine for each other

and my desires are for real.

I just love how deep you feel for me,

as you make every sense in me ignite

With your words, your passion and your touch

I want to savor every bite.

You're so attentive to the details

And they're "So" the perfect kind!

Quenching softly over every thought

That stirs inside my mind

The mere existence of your presence,

causes me to lose control.

You inspire me to grasp the stars

And make music leave my soul.

Hence your expressions and your actions,

along with all the touching things you say.

Its Like a symphony in perfect rhythm.

and on my heart you play.

Never once have I been treated,

Like the way you make me feel.

Intel the moment that I met you,

I just thought it wasn't real.

And now I truly realize

as if i was lost among the mists

That not only are you souly mine.

...but that one like you exists.

2010-05-27T01:26:00.003+08:00

Day 3 -

A clouded dream on an earthly night,
Hangs upon the crescent moon,
A voiceless song in an ageless light,
Sings at the coming dawn,
Birds in flight are calling there,
Where the heart moves the stones,
It's there that my heart is longing,
All for the love of you,

A painting hangs on an ivy wall,
Nestled in the emerald moss,
The eyes declare a truce of trust,
Then it draws me far away,
Where deep in the desert twilight,
Sand melts in pools of the sky,
Darkness lays her crimson cloak,
Your lamps will call me home,

And so it's there my homage's due,
Clutched by the still of the night,
Now I feel you move,
And every breath is full,
So it's there my homage's due,
Clutched by the still of the night,
Even the distance feels so near,
All for the love of you..

2010-05-26T01:10:00.001+08:00

Day 2 -

The ocean and the waves carrying me about.

Seeing you off in the sunset.

I will sail to where you are.

Anywhere you go I will be right there by your side.

Have you by my side together on the beach with the waves crashing at our feet.

Your head on my shoulder.

Watching this sunset together.

The wonderful ocean and all it's nice clear blue water all together.

Seeing it go for miles and miles.

Makes me think of how love flows.

Just like that ocean.

Continuous.

Never drying out.

That will be us.

Always and Forever....

2010-05-24T23:27:00.003+08:00

Day 1 -

The dawn of invisible summer.

Marks the days of one love.

So near yet so far.

Is this how true love feels?

Feeling so close and warm at heart,

But she is within reach.

True love,

Is it when you both look at the same skies at separate windows,

And being able to stare at the same star,

Wishing that you were both physically close?

Sometimes when a relationship is at a great distance apart,

It gets stronger.

Cause we get to the deep abyss of love.

Discovering that love, has no apparent meanings.

Love shows no simplicity at first sight,

Cause all the meanings are in complexed forms.

The only way to love right and long,

Is to believe and have faith.

Faith to be able to use two hearts combined into one,

And making the complexity, turn into a reality.

2010-05-24T17:37:00.003+08:00

On 3 days notice.

Wont be working until the start of June i guess.

I just want to enjoy myself.

And want myself to be happy.

Before i go in for NS that is.

Well the sad news is that baby is away for 6 days overseas.

Damn,

It's the first day today, and the feeling of being apart is so strong.

I miss her so much.

I hope that she is enjoying herself over there.

And not thinking too much.

I'll pray for your safety baby.

2010-05-19T21:56:00.002+08:00

I didn't went to work today.

Yesterday it was raining.

Maybe that's the cause of my weakness and slight fever.

But I am fit for tomorrow, hopefully. :)

Well currently am watching Disaster Movie.

So hilarious! Haha.

And what makes it more hilarious is that,

With a weak body, anything you see tends to make you laugh.

Even if it's lame. :D

I suddenly feel fat!

Maybe i will go for a jog later.

Or perhaps?

Sleep..........

And yes, I miss my Bellissima Ardini.

2010-05-18T00:08:00.002+08:00

I wouldn't say that you complete me, Baby.

I would say that you separate me into fractions.

Cause you bring out the best in me.

That i never even knew i had.

Each and every little bit of what i had, you made them grow.

You made me knew what hope was.

Hope is stepping into the dark knowing that you wouldn't see a thing.

Ohh and don't even mention about Love.

Cause our Love is what i had never experienced in my Life.

It's like we've fused out of nowhere.

It's like we're in our own dimension when we both touch.

Seems like we're wandering out into space.

Sliding down the milky way..

Sitting on the crescent moon.

Jumping through the stars.

Baby, you are a miracle, that only one miracle that happened in my life.

And like they all say.

Opportunities come once,

Miracles, rarely happen.

I love you sincerely and deeply, Pingu Pingu...

2010-05-17T20:13:00.002+08:00

"Worn coral paths of history

Wind gently neath the evening shadows

In this warm land of mystery

And restless site of ancient battles.

Deep turquoise blue of daylight fades

To twilight's sea of scarlet gold

Walk I, alone, by windy glades

As evening's symphony enfolds.

The palm trees sway in tropic breeze

As golden Luna starts her rise

If you were here, this heart you'd please

I search for you in endless skies.

But you're not here, my search in vain

As Luna shines her brilliant glow

This gold moonlight can't rid the pain

Of love that fled so long ago.

So stars, keep burning all night long

My bruised heart's song is silenced mute

The heavens cannot right this wrong

Nor offer calming substitute.

The shining stars, I'll gladly miss

To your warm kiss, they cannot measure

The bright heavens offer no bliss

Your sweet caress, a greater treasure..."

For you, Sweetheart.

2010-05-12T18:35:00.000+08:00

" HELP ME "

2010-05-12T18:28:00.002+08:00

Its like venom.

Another level higher than poison.

It does not destroy.

Instead it creates.

An unknown source of toxic.

Toxic which contaminates the blood stream.

Circulating.

Slowly...

Vision deficiency.

Hearing the supernatural.

Feeling what cannot be felt.

The mind... The brain...

Cells terminated.

The body, weakened.

The mind occupied with illusions.

The soul, eatened...

The man, dies.

2010-05-12T12:06:00.002+08:00

" I have been stepped on the head for too many times,

and for too long.

I am a patient person, forgiving,

Reasonable for every action that i do.

I wouldnt wanna say that i'm too nice

Cause there are other nice people too.

But i've been helping and giving all the best i can to make people happy

Or help them out with their problems.

In return, what about me?

Why do i always have that negativity in the end.

Maybe God sees the potential in me to be stronger.

Maybe, negativity is all i deserve in my life.

So i am prepared for anything. "

- Fate FINix

2010-05-01T03:23:00.002+08:00

I did this when i had free time, finished my work and was damn bored! Plus she on my mind =/

Elephant A.K.A Etiphant Glove! =DD

WORK PICTURES!

2010-04-27T00:46:00.003+08:00

Today was fun!

Me, Mangs and Fluff searched for work together.
Its quite a big deal cause,
For as long as we've known each other,
We've never worked together before! Hahaha.

And as for me,
For my whole life,
I'VE NEVER WORKED BEFORE.
This is a big deal too.

Well it was all chaotic-ly fun today.

And what a way to start off a first job with non other than my 2 long life brothers.
:)

2010-04-24T18:46:00.002+08:00

Very boring saturday.
Ive been playing my PS2 for like, HOURs....
Bored bored bored.
And hungry.
On a brighter note,
Going out for dinner after maghrib!
Weeeeeeeee~
=DD

Then tonight......
Arsenal will have their revenge!
Watchout man city....

2010-04-23T22:59:00.002+08:00

Baby is a lazybum chicken butt ~
Okay thats all for now
Hehe ;P

2010-04-23T04:06:00.003+08:00

Okay i've just finished remixing the song for our performance for youth gig.
HARDCORE!
My brain has been mixed with a lot of different rhythmical tunes.
Gahhhhhhhhhhh~
I need my rest.
But i cant sleep!
Okay its officially 4 am.
Well done Fate!
Managed to remix the song by an hour.
Weeehuuuu!
Okay gonna sleep now.
Later theres gonna be kungfu practice.

Chaooooo!

2010-04-22T20:50:00.001+08:00

Just finished eating.
Currently breaking with the boys at tjcc.
So few people.
Where the hell are the rest????

Your lost.
Ive got POWER ;)

2010-04-22T13:19:00.002+08:00

Getting on them powers baby~
Got my 3 round 2000's back.
A half flare done.
Mills.
Drills.
Turtles.
Swipe!

2010-04-21T13:28:00.002+08:00

Ahhhhhh!
Panda is not very itchy itchy!
Im having sunburn and it really sucks.
It has been sucha long time since i went to the beach.

Anyways Biah's bbq pit was awesome!
We all had fun and excitement.
I will never forget such memories like these.
And i had fun time with my baby too.
You know i love you baby. :)

Uhhh, now seriously ive not slept for 2 days because of the itchiness.
Damn it!
Its irritating!

Ohh ya i broke my specs.
And yesterday i went out with mum and sis to get new ones.
Weeeeee! I like it, cant wait to take it from the shop tomorrow.
Sorry i am at lost of what else to update.
I'll get back soon enough.

2010-04-09T01:27:00.002+08:00

AHHH I BUSTED MY KNEE!

Very darn painful i tell you!
Gahh~

Otherwise had a mundane day.
I can die appealing to Polys.
Fuck all of you la who dont give a damn chance to people who appeal!
One day! You will regret your decision!
I believe in Karma and one day Karma will teach you a valuable lesson!

Tmr morning will be appealing again at SP and NP.
Thanks Cousin Azmil for helping me out.

So i am in doubts for saturday's performance.
Maybe i will, maybe i will not.
See how it goes.

So peter piper picked a pepper and gave it to.....
Who?

2010-04-07T01:42:00.002+08:00

Whoaaa! *achooooo!
*Ehem

Sorry for not been updating for quite a long time.
Now i must dust the spiderwebs away from the screen. LOL.

So what has been going on?
Tons of things i tell you!
And i dont know where to start. YOU SEE.
This is the reason why i dont like to update my blog, theres too much to be said.

Well for a start, i shall start with my downs.
Okay i have not been accepted to a Polytechnic.
It saddens me but what to do, its not your luck, and its fated.
Maybe things happen for a reason, and god wants me to be stronger than what i am now.
I know that i am capable of the best things!
But i guess ive yet to find out my own profession.

This teaches me a lesson,
Doesnt mean you work hard for something and you bust your ass off for something,
Doesnt mean you're gonna be rewarded with success.
Things can go the other way round.
We must always prepare for both good and bad in Life.
Whatever happens, just smile and gladly accept your fate. =)
Karma exists and karma occurs but not apparently.

And as for the good news,
I joined and decided to help 6 feet under for the SBDC finals,
And we won!
I am now in the 6 feet family.
It has been a fun 2 week journey with you guys, and i learnt alot.
Different people different crews each has different styles.
Thats why i learnt to explore the whole community and learn what you haven't.
Its good to communicate and acknowledge things that arent used to what you always do.

Winning has a tiny poison stored within it.
And that poison causes arrogance.
No matter what, i will always keep my head down as ive always did.
Sticking to my flava, humble shaolin negga~ Hahahaha
To me after a win, no matter if you lose too,
Practises are always a must! You want success you gotta move yo ass and get it.

Alright did i mention that time flies so fast?
NO?
TIME FLIES SO FAST!
Baby Baby Baby......... It seemed like it was just yesterday.
Too soon! Ehhh i mean, 2 soon!
Get it? Hahaha, okay lame.
Damn i know that i am supposed type alot of things here about you!
Your embarassing moments but now when i wanna type, i seem to forget!
Haiyo, nvm, those funny moments can only run through my mind. Hahahaha
Only you and i know right baby =DD

Alright i think this is long enough to cover my long absence.
MUAHAHA.
Till we meet again!

Im Fate Phoenix the RareGrenade and I'm R.I.P!
Dont get me wrong,
Im just a guy whose Really.Into.Peace! ;D

Shoutout to my boys, Rhythmic Stylez! Cactus Ruckus! Sixfeetunder!

2010-03-15T03:14:00.002+08:00

Whats up!

I'd like to give a very big shoutout to my mates,

MONO, GRIZZLASH, LOOPY, M.A.D, SUNKID, MANGS.

Yo you guys made me proud.
For a last minute entrance, you all did well!
And thats what i wanna see.
Always have that faith and confidence bros!
Just remember, whatever starts there, ends there.
After an experience, move on, no matter what happens.
Just practice hard and do better in the next ones to come!

A new week is coming.
Remember to get your asses down for practice bros!
And please DO NOT FORGET TO REPLY my text messages.

Each of you have your own character and flava,
The exact thing i brought up within each and everyone of you.
Niceeee keep it up guys!

Well basically today was great.
All the bboys battled and cyphered hard!
Much respect to all of them.
And the international bboys were damn dope!
Damn....
And i can already picture how did RF jam went.
Too bad i missed it! Ahhhh!

Grrrrrrrr~ And i miss my baby.
She followed us yesterday when we went down to see the hip-hop category.
Had a lot of fun!
Too much fun, that i forgot what the word fun means.
Hahaha okay crap.
We celebrated our first month together.
Huhuhu.... I love you!

And look what you've done yet again baby.........

I MISS YOU!

2010-03-14T02:32:00.002+08:00

"Open road calls out,
sun shines brightly
through a cloudless sky,
no destination in mind,
no need to ask why.

Autumn wind meets skin
mind empties it's thoughts,
soul becomes free again
body fuses with machine
settling into a calming Zen.

Scenery becomes blurred
engine screams to crescendo,
fallen leaves dance in the wake
twisting the grip ever tighter
as the road coils like a snake.

Speed turns to addiction
adrenaline flows like a torrent,
heart beat is deafening,
senses become razor sharp
and so the love affair begins..."

I Love You Sincerely Baby.

2010-03-10T01:20:00.000+08:00

Baby, 5 more days..
=))

2010-03-06T19:02:00.002+08:00

" A beautiful vision teases my mind,
streaming paintings upon blank canvas.
Delightful memories frolic and play,
evergreen stone and pine cones.

No eclipse can darken her moon face spirit,
sparkles of magic fill her eyes with wonder.
Flying shadow of the raven calls my name,
she speaks to me in my dreams.

Emotions flow on winters wind,
silence broken by a lovers passionate breath.
Tell me of tomorrow, sweet one,
dance upon the ashes of yesterday.

Gaze into the promise of our destiny,
let love forever be eternities guide.
Taste the lips of true adoration,
and know my heart beats only for you.... "

2010-03-06T02:23:00.002+08:00

School's over.
Am not so sure if i'd jump for joy though.
Whatever it is,
I've tried.

And i'd like to bring up something.
I am sick and tired of TYPICAL people.
Who the FUCK gave you license to FUCK around.
You don't own the FUCKING place wherever YOU'RE FUCKING from.
And for the record,
Whatever happened 3 years ago,
Has got NOTHING to do with now.
ITS FUCKING 2010!
Learn to FUCKING move on MOTHERFUCK!!!
FUCKER, you got away with it this once.
IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN TWICE.

Pissed.

2010-03-04T01:54:00.002+08:00

I can really see the change now!
Yeap yeap.
And it's so unbelievable.
Funny how i cant seem to see the change everytime i wake up.
But after these bodyaches and fever that i had,
Wow, i guess our body indeed needs lots of rest!
I learnt my lesson!
Let your body rest people! =D

2010-03-03T01:23:00.003+08:00

Alright today was effing hot.
I did my napfa test today.
God damn it,
When i ran for 2.4, it was bloody hot!
Only me and nazz did it today. Haha.
Brotherly love!
We managed to finish it, and i went home.
As i wasnt feeling good after all of it.
I felt my fever taking its toll on my body...
Sighs~

And i told you time flies fast!
2 more days left to end of school!
Wow, cant imagine this.

And baby,
Don't you realize anything too?
Time flies indeed fast when im with you.
Tsk tsk. Time is unfair uhh. =/
And there's something else too!
You should know! Huhuhu.
If you don't ..........
*Munch munch!*
=D

2010-03-02T01:21:00.002+08:00

Alright,
I don't feel good at all today!
I woke up,
I couldn't move.
I felt that i have fever. Which i did.
PLUS.
My whole freaking body was aching!
From my neck to my toes!
It sucks big time.
I had to make dainty little movements.
But its all good.
That is if i stretch myself uhh.
Which i did!
And still!
It doesn't feel better. It hurts actually!
I am still aching now.
I hope to be fine tomorrow.
Cause i have NAPFA test tomorrow! DAMN IT!
So pleaseeeeeeeee!?
=/

2010-03-01T01:44:00.003+08:00

Hey hey.
Wow.
I can't believe it.
This week is my last week of school!
I am finally going to graduate.
Feeling happy at the same time, quite sad.

Its amazing how time flies.
From 2 years, now it comes down to only 1 week.
I cherish those times that i had in sch.
The good and the bad.
There are lots of memories that i wish to replay.
But, hey, i'm thankful enough to be experiencing it all.
And i never regret a single thing. :)

Well maybe this is the reason why i've been feeling down lately?
I've been thinking too much about life.
Success? Future?
Everything. These all leads to a mixure of emotions.
Won't be surprised if i were to tear down.
But hey, no matter what happens,
It is meant to happen and it is all fated to happen.
Just smile for whatever it is,
And bear in mind, do not waste your life that you have
In this wonderful place to be.

2010-02-28T03:28:00.002+08:00

Even the best fall down at times!
But Arsenal always will prevail!
Hail Arsenal!

And i hope Ramsey's injury doesnt affect the squad.
But it's quite sad though. =(
Ramsey, recover soon and never lose hope!

Long live ARSENAL!!!!!!!!!!

2010-02-27T04:31:00.002+08:00

I shall summarize today,
With simplified words!

Tired.
Exhausted.
Worn Out.
Stressful.
Weak.
Angry.
Aggravated!
Unsatisfied!
Puzzled.
Humorous!
WHAT THE HELL!

Okay basically today was okay.
But one particular situation,
RUINED MY MOOD!
Niceeee one ahhh makcik,
Laen kali sila buat lagi, ok?

Urgh. Fcuk that shit!
Karma. =D

ARDINI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where are you?
Huhuhu.
I miss youuuuuuuuuuuuuu laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.
Bored bored bored BORED.

=/

2010-02-26T02:11:00.003+08:00

I was so tensed up in school today.
Basically i wanted to give up.
Now i still feel like it too.

Whats the use of holding on till the end,
When you know in the end you're gonna fall?
This is so not me.
I am the type of person who never ever gives up.
I don't know what happened to myself.
Maybe it's just the pressure.
This was what happened during O's.
I always screw up in the end.
Ohh god please, i do not wish history to repeat itself once again.

So. I have to get some rest.
I have to reach school by 8am.
And by then i will have to work my ass off to finish everything.
Hmmm, i did it once, and i'm going to do it again.
I shall entrust myself more!
Let's go Fate!

"Baby, the word soon appears to be like YEARS :("

"Love isn't about telling that person you'll die without them,
it's showing them they're the reason you're still breathing"

2010-02-25T01:50:00.003+08:00

I woke up today.
Feeling rather weird.
I hesitated to go to school.
And eventually, i didn't.
Sometimes i just feel like i'm good for nothing.
Or have i just lost hope and faith?
I am a complete failure.
In every journey that i make.
I shall bear the consequences for every wrong move i make.

So we had a crew meeting just now.
Regarding some personal chaos?
I am glad to see that everythings fine now.
Though i admit that it takes time for things to be normal again.

And i'd like to say farewell to Doubledee.
In 2 days he will serve the country!
All the best bro.
We will all miss your presence.
Must come out a better man ayte!
Must be thin too! Haha!
SEDIA!
Practice your push ups bro.
"One sir! Two sir! Three sir!"

Baby you know that i miss you so much too. I long to see you. Well i believe that patience pays, but when it comes to you, i just cant help it. Its a demand. Okay nvm, next week it is babylove.

2010-02-24T17:42:00.001+08:00

When I was a kid, I've always wanted to be a Winner in Life.

2010-02-24T01:19:00.002+08:00

Whoa, my eyes are dried up.
I need eyemo!

So, nothing much today.
Basically crapped in school.
Took tons of pictures. Nonsensical ones.

I had a good talk with Fluffy today.
He did got me snapped back to reality.
Thanks bro.
I needed all that.
Words are a powerful weapon.
Should it fall down to an irresponsible person,
The phrase "a man of my word"
Will eventually mean nothing.

"Baby, no alphabets are able to spell out a word saying how much you mean to me,
Even if it spells out a word, no word can describe how i feel for you,
Even if there is a word, no sentence can describe how deep my love is for you,
Even if the sentences are constructed. The only sentence i'll stick to, is,
I Love You"

2010-02-23T02:13:00.002+08:00

I really need to buck myself up.
Just 2 more weeks.
And i'm done with school.
Come on Fate.
I'm constantly reminding myself but at times,
I find myself forgetting.
I have to push myself to the limit.
I have got loads to do and i'm now wondering if i can finish em. =/
I seem to have lost a bit of confidence.
Lost self esteem.
And, i find myself far away from my own quote,
Which is, "Never give up, but always give in"

Plus i don't know why,
But i'm foreseeing bad things coming my way.
Please, i know that i have been facing negativity throughout this life of mine.
But for once, at least give me more time with my happiness.
I know that ive been happy no matter what,
But that doesnt mean i have to be brought down yet again. =(
I can't help it...

Baby, i hope to meet you soon.
Cause i would love it if i could talk with you.
And and of course,
I miss you sooooooooo..............

"Meeting you was fate,
becoming your friend was a choice,
but falling in love with you was beyond my control"

2010-02-22T01:08:00.002+08:00

Meet my new friend.
Her name is Armpit. Haha!

Okay so this week will be so called the hardcore week of school.
I have to complete all the projects and groupworks by this week.
So i have to god damn discipline myself.
Wake up Fate! Gosh.
Ive gotta play smart and wise. So yeap!
I got my own way with things. ;)

And and. Im like, so called gonna be free soon!
Woohoo!
But not yet. Sighs.

Negative thinking and feelings,
Please go away.
Don't worry Fate, everything will be alright.
Just smile.
I hope. =/

2010-02-21T01:11:00.004+08:00

Sometimes.
You know. Just by having what you have,
Many will go against and protest it.
And sometimes. You just wonder and think,
Why?
And when you, relax yourself and as your mind twirls itself,
You just feel that your emotions are twirled as well.
I don't know what's wrong. I don't know why.
But i just feel moody now.
Nevermind, heads up, i enjoyed my day today with them.
Keep your head up guys, remember my advice.
Pictures up soon.

2010-02-19T01:35:00.002+08:00

Why does time have to fly so fast?
Sighs.
How i wish i could have the power to freeze time.
So that i can run around happily with my baby. =D

Nothing much happened today.

I hurt my right side of my butt.
PAIN! Haha.
But it's funny how it suddenly hurts.
I don't know what happened.

Access test tmr.
*prays hard*

Baby, next week uhh? Hmph. =/

"A woman will always come from a Man's rib.
Not from his feet to be walked on,
Not from his head to be superior,
But from the side to be equal.
Under the arm to be protected,
And beside the heart to be loved dearly..."

2010-02-18T01:44:00.002+08:00

Hi! My name's Fatapulazionistafintasticnix.
I am an alien from outer space.
I live in a planet called beeboobopboyroboelectronica.
Over there, we communicate by movements.
Dancing to be exact.
We eat music. And we drink melodrama.
Okay WTH this is crap haha.
Bored............

So access test will be on this friday.
Which is tomorrow! Cause now its already thursday.
Its like, 2 am now.
And i have to like, be in school by 8am later.
How am i supposed to sleep?
I cant.

Still nocturnal abit.
Though i admit that ive been getting sufficient sleep at certain nights. =D

Went down to TJCC after school.
Around like 6?
First thing i came down i searched for me babyyyyy of course.
Didnt see her at first, thought she didnt come!
Then when i searched behind the stairs, she was there.
Somebody merajuk with me uhh?
Hehe.
Aiyoooo, next time i wont come late laaa okay baby. =D
Gahhh, got to spend time with you for a while only. Hmph.
Wish to meet you soon pleaseeee =/
Ahhhhhh!

I MISS AND LOVE YOU OKAY!

2010-02-17T01:17:00.003+08:00

So today went like any other day.
I woke up late, around, like, 1 plus? Haha.
I was awakened by Fluffy's call btw.
He said that he and Biah wanted to chill at my house before going for prac.
So yeap. I waited for them.
Then Elborne called me up and said he wanna come too cause he's bored.

So we all chilled, talked(Gossip) Haha.
Ate alot, watched random funny videos.
Then we went down to TJCC.
Nothin much happened during practice.
The usual.

So here i am back home, and its 1.45am right now.
I should be sleeping!
If not i will be late for school tmr, or will never make it! Haha.

Today's wednesday! I cant wait to see her today.
That is if shes coming. I dont know. =/
Ahhhhhh. I miss you, do you know that?
And its been quite sometime since i felt these kinda feelings.
And and im angry with you! Since when did you have a driving license??
Why didnt you tell me? Cause here you are.....
You're driving me crazy. ;)
Okay im getting soooo ridiculous. Hahahaha. =D
Here's a little somethin for you baby.

"The first time my heart was broken,
I thought I was through.
I swore I'd never love again,
Until I found you.

You are the one who makes me complete,
The one I think about everyday.
Everytime I'm near you,
I start falling in more than one way.

You may not know this,
But you've always had my heart.
I just wanted you to know,
That I've loved you from the start.

You make my heart beat faster,
With every breath I take.
I know I'm in love with you,
Trust me, this is not fake.

The first time I fell in love,
She ripped my heart in two.
Forgive me if I seem scared,
I just don't want to lose you.

The first time my heart was broken,
I thought I was through.
I swore I'd never love again,
Until I found you... "

2010-02-16T02:11:00.002+08:00

Love, knows one boundary.
The heart.
It incapsulates it with warmth, care and joy.

Knowing this boundary is tough.
You dont go around finding, it will find you.
That is the true meaning of "Knowing"
Knowing that its out there,
Somewhere.
Within reach, or far from being touched.

That is the most intense and best feeling of love.
Knowing that her presence lingers around like an aroma,
But she is nowhere to be found.
Its like, shes invisible and staring at every move that you make.

Where are you?
Just where are you.

At times you wonder.
If you are ever going to find her.
That is why when you are feeling lonely, doesnt mean you're desperate!
It simply means that you're taking your time to figure out a route.
A route to your destination.

And as time passes by,
She will start to fuse in the midst of nothingness.
And out of nowhere, she appears,
Unknown, the presence is strong,
You feel her being there.

And as you set your eyes on her for the first time,
You realized,
That all this while,

She's been in your heart all along..

"14th February 2010"
Eden's Eros. =)

2010-02-14T02:29:00.002+08:00

"I can't look you in the eyes I'm afraid that you will see.
The yearning I feel inside for what I know could never
be.

I try to fight the feelings and what I long to say.
But every time it gets harder to just let you walk away.

If only you knew the truth hidden beneath the lies.
If only you could hear every time that my heart cries.

How can something that feels so right ever be so wrong.
When will the wanting stop it seems I've wanted you for
so long.

God, but your beautiful and oh how I yearn for just your touch.
Never could there ever be someone who longs for you so much.

But what I feel for you must stay hidden deep within.
For I could never fight for a love I know I cannot win.

So I'll silently keep wishing for what I know could never
be.
And yearning for you but yet hoping you won't see."

2010-02-13T03:18:00.002+08:00

Whole body's weak.
Cramp.
Whoa. Restless.
Exhausted.
All i need to do now is have a deep sleep.
Which i will after posting this post.

Well i would love to elaborate how today went,
But due to my laziness,
And at the same time willingness to share,
I shall not say anything at all.
Haha!
WTH.

Okay i would wanna complain that today was a god damn hot day lah.
I was cranky throughout.

Okay.
I am. On cloud 9?
Can i? Well i shouldnt be asking.
As i already am.
*winks*
:)

2010-02-12T01:43:00.003+08:00

Very very very, TIRED.
*Slaps own face very very hard*

Wake up Fate!
I need motivation.
What is wrong with me?
Ahhh.
I have no idea.

The finishing line is near! Very near!
Note to self: DONT SLACK!
Wake up wake up!

Yet to apply for Poly.
Tomorrow's the last day.
Must make up my mind!

And also yet to finish projects!
And assignments!

WAKE UP FATE!

2010-02-11T00:50:00.002+08:00

Im sooooo damnnn tired!
But yeah, got lots of self gain!

Ive lost tremendous weight!

Ive got new moves!

Ive got like, what else?
Haha okay i dont know.
This is officially a random post.

Hey... Hey! Hey! Hey. Ermmm, Hey! Hey! Hey!
Wanna hear a joke?
Hey! Hey Apple!
HEY!

2010-02-10T14:17:00.002+08:00

"Even the best fall down sometimes"

So it has been 3 days straight that ive been sick.
And how i hate it.
I mean, who doesnt? Right?

So this week, im supposed to like apply for my Poly course.
Im not so sure what to apply for though.
My head's circling around somewhere else.
I need help, but i guess i'll apply it tomorrow in school.

You know what,
I have no idea what's wrong with me.
You know the feeling,
When you felt that a particular something is just missing.
Im feeling it now.
Whats happening? And why does this keep happening.

There is this girl
That has never been in my world
She has never seen me squeak
Or has even heard a peep
And She has never seen me cry

The only thing she's seen
Is me just walking by
Without a simple sign
But she stole my attention like criminal without an act
I think I've found a girl

Is that the biggest fact?
I know that love is far from being an act
But wanting to love is what's holding me back
Because she's never seen how I crack

She's never seen how broken pieces of my heart rack
She's never seen how I really am
She never will see
What is truly me .

2010-02-04T01:47:00.003+08:00

Today marks a year you've been gone.
Today, marks the first tear i will cry on every February the 4th.
Today, will never make tomorrow come for me,
As that day, there was no more you for me.

You taught me everything. Values of life.
Necessities and what not to take in.
You have taught me what life is, you nurtured me from small.

You brought me up while at most times, i broke you down.
You held me up while at most times, i had to frown.

You taught me the meaning of a meaning.
You taught me to be reasonable in knowing what reason really means.

Your heart is pure. Like white light. Blinding every sin with your aura.

Your actions and your mind work simultaneously to produce good deeds.
WISE is what you are throughout your life.
People have tried to ruin what's yours, but no.
You TAUGHT me how to stand strong like how you did.
You, made me realize.
The importance of the meaning important.
How regretful the aftermath would be if all humans were to be ignorant.

I miss you dearly.
I miss the times when you fed me after school.
Miss the times you wiped my mouth if i were to drool.
Times when you story to me about past histories and things that could've be.
I miss the times when you ask me to pray if i were to laze around.
Every fridays, i miss your voice reminding me not to forget friday prayers.

Allah loves you. You had to go. You are the most wise and good person ever lived.
To me, you are the black diamond.
You knew you could shine, but you chose not to.
You chose to be HUMBLE.
And that is what i am, grandma, i am a humble person now.

February 4th. I was devastated. Everyone was.

I remembered kissing your forehead, i thought that you were asleep.
You felt different. You were cold.
The next thing i know, when i woke up to fulfill my subuh prayers,
Grandma, you already went away..

I realized that it's too late to apologize.
And I, couldn't forgive myself.
I am sincerely and dearly sorry, grandma.
May you still have your sweet vibrant smile that you always carry during your years,
Wherever you are, cause i know you are in peace...
Everyone loves and misses you...

2010-02-03T02:55:00.000+08:00

It is unpredictable.
The minute you feel close to your dreams,
Seconds tick as you first touch that visualization,

An hour it appears, as now,
You've found out that there is still more work needed to be done.
More miles to run, energy to waste.

Focus and concentration that is lacking,
What more can you do?
Not just a boost of determination, but also motivation that you must seek,
As you cannot work alone.
In life, it takes 2, 3, more, most, ALL.

But the only difference in working with all, is the success.
As each and every contribution, comes from each individual,
The success is undivided. You cannot distribute success.
As success comes from yourself.
Every bit that you strive, every action that you do.
It's all within you.

So don't be afraid to show the world what you can do or
What you are capable of doing.
You'll never know if you are the last contribution to this particular upcoming success,
And the next thing you know,
You've become a star, and everyone will live by your name..

2010-02-02T01:59:00.002+08:00

Like an echo reverberating off walls, and mountains my love is.
Traveling as fast as sound, my hungry voice spreads in all directions,
and bounces back calling your lovely name right now, right here
just to tell you about this sweet affection I carry, within, my dear.

I shout but it seems this sound can't catch your heart and ears.
Maybe something has absorbed my echo of love and passion.
Maybe your silent heart is miles away from mine,
and can't hear my soft voice calling you across my apparent sea.

Words pine away as reverberation decreases and dies again,
searching for your delicate strength, to ease my tender pain.

2010-02-01T16:05:00.003+08:00

The sin that has always been,
Whats within,
Is whats always wrong, when it felt so right,
The feeling of darkness outshining light,
Out burst of inferno signs a massive desire,
Slowly it fades, light the candle fire,

Fire needs oxygen.
We need oxygen.
We need to breathe.
But I,

Need to find the reason to breathe...

2010-01-30T16:11:00.002+08:00

I am totally sorry for the lack of updates.
Ohh yes,
When i don't update, it simply means that i still feel what i feel in my last post.
So yeap, not that im lazy or anything, it just goes with myself.
Thats what blogs and diaries are for. You write what you feel.
And most importantly, you express yourself.
Need i say more? =)

Well there were a lot of things happening.
But i just couldnt recall most of them.
Pathetic much?!

And yes i am quite ecstatic to see that im eligible to apply for poly.
This 8th February that is.
Though im not quite sure what i want.
But whatever it is, i still must put my focus on the projects and final tests.
Like they always say, things can go the other way round.

So breaking life has been great!
Getting sets and moves i didnt know i could do in the first place.
I'm proud of myself as i challenge myself to go over the limit.
No pain, no gain.
If you're not sweating hard, it means that you're not practicing hard!

Personal life?
Still of course the Hitch. Yes helping people makes me happy!
Maybe i dont need to have love, all i need to do is give love to all.
Well maybe at times when you're alone you do feel lonely.
And you tend to reminisce the past and think of something beautiful.
And every couple that you see, how you wish you had someone to feel the same.
But hey, i guess its life, maybe one day,
Love will find me?
For now, i feel quite a strong static whenever i see Cat Eyes~ ;)

2009-12-18T16:02:00.002+08:00

Hi , my name is Herrizal .
I was borned in the year 1991 on the 25th of october .
Back then i lived through a very blissful yet devastating childhood .
I was a hot tempered boy .
I was aggressive , big boy with the big fucked up attitude .
Greedy , violent , and the bully . Fear was not in my dictionary .
To the slightest of things , i could burst out in anger .
I was fat , white , had small eyes , or what most people called me ,
A japanese sumo wrestler .

I had no much friends .
I had some .
And those were the ones who were patient .
Tolerated with my attitude .
I respect them for that .
Because i'm not that kind of boy whereby you'd be very happy with .
I want to things to go my way . EVERYTIME .

I grew , into my teenage years .
I'm 18 now .
I've changed . I'm the opposite of who i am in the past .
Now , it's like somehow , im too very very nice .
I love to help people .
And i'd sacrifice alot just to help , be it for someone i know ,
Or for a stranger .
I might be unattractive , but i sure do admit i have a good heart .
I have good intentions , and everything i do comes with
Tremendous sincerity .

As life passed me by , i realized .
Too many people have been taking advantage of me .
Maybe , just maybe .
I have been patient for too long , or forever .
People have this so called limits .

Doesnt mean a person who has been patient everytime
Doesnt have any rage , grudges or wraths inside him/her ,
They do indeed .
And once the limit has been surpassed ,
Things will definitely turn out ugly .
" You just stirred up hell "

Its a thing or two when people ASSUME .
Not bothering to find out about what happened .
Instead just hearing the stories from one party ,
And not hear it from the other one .
Is it fair that way ?
Hell NO .
If you people wanna keep assuming , be my guess .
Assuming ,
Makes an ASS out of U and ME ~

Let me repeat ,
I have been patient .
You only need one word for me to blow up right now .
So i suggest you think THRICE right now before approaching me .

YOU

ALL

ALL OF YOU HAVE NO IDEA .

Who you're messing with .
In these 18 years of mine .
I have been patient , and im now disappointed .
Cause im just 18 , and already i wannd burst out my potential anger .
I couldve done this when im old
And just burst and have a heart attack after that and DIE .

So whoever i still am angry with .
I'LL HAUNT YOU .
You fcuking burn IN HELL .
I'll DRAG YOU .

ONCE AGAIN .
This post is posted BECAUSE I AM FCUKING ANGRY NOW .
Actually i was since yesterday .
I slept , hoping that today i will feel better .
BUT NO .
YOU HAVE NO FCUKING IDEA .
I am stirred up ,

AND OHH BOY .
You want ruckus that much RIGHT .
RUCKUS IS COMING TO YOU .

I fcuking REPEAT .
I AM FCUKING ANGRY
AND NO ONE CAN CALM THIS BEAST DOWN .

RUN ALONG IF YOU KNOW WHATS BEST FOR YOU .

" I now know that peace was never a word to say ,
Cause one day someone will distrupt that peace ,
And release a beast from within you ,

I now realize ,
That peace , can only be said ,
Once you are laid to Rest . In . Peace "

P.S : I'll be away for quite some time.

2009-12-15T04:24:00.003+08:00

" In solitude
a couple of dew drops
slipping down the eye lashes
carrying a burden that chest couldn't bear
full of yearning memories more indelible than ink

a salty moist page of a life that time can not ever dry
throw away the whole forsaken book in the fire
wet cold ashes. awaits a weeping phoenix
recycled tears, blur the vision
Bedims "

Ohhh so today is monday .
The first day of my school holidays .
Did it go on the good foot ?
NO !
Its boring today .
Slacked .
Went for breakin at night .
Not much things occuring in the afternoon .
Damn packed this week .
Have 2 shows on saturday .
But !
I wanna catch dance infinity !
Plus i forgot , WestG's BBQ pit is this saturday too !
Damn , i wonder if i can make it for all of em .
Which i might think that it is totally impossible .
Wait ,
Let me think again .
Ohh , yeah .
Impossible ~
Well , recently , grandfather had just been admitted to the hospital .
He has not been well for the past 2 days .
Always awake at night and claiming , something was bothering him .
Well , i was thinking , of what that "something" might be .
But heck , i dont think so .
I hope grandfather is doing well .
Praying for you to be well , and come back home soon .
Strange things have been happening .
Hmmm ..

2009-12-10T16:53:00.003+08:00

Fate FINix -

Fighting Aura Towards Eden ,
Forever Intelligent Numericals Intertwined Xerox .

So life has been nothing but plain nothingness .
School has been a bore though tomorrow shall be the last day of school .
B-boying has been the only sense of comfort , and expression whenever ,
I am feeling emotional .
Friends have been there , friends have not been there .
Brothers , have been lost in the source .
Family has been great with sense of directions .
Personal life , has been nothing but with the quote ,

"People will come , and they will eventually go"

You know , i said to myself , and i finally lighted the bulb .
The day that i will find true love , is the day when only ,
A true lady realizes how much i love the floor .

Cause right now , the most love im showing to , is the floor .
When i b-boy , i express everything to the floor .
Giving allout throwdowns on the floor whenever i am angry ,
Whenever im sad , i connect with the floor and express it ,
Name every emotion , and i give it to the floor .
LOVE the most .
The floor is my soulmate , and the floor realizes i appreciate it that much .
I treat the floor , like how i , a normal human being , a gentleman ,
Should treat a kind lady ,

Like how most of you lovebirds say , "i will always shower u with love and care"
And as for me , i too shower the floor with love and care .
I mean SERIOUSLY .
I make sure i sweat as much as i can to wet the floor ,
And prove to it and show it that i really care and love it .
I cherish the floor , and i truly appreciate it .

All of you can call me crazy ,
Thinking that i am out of my mind to love a non living thing .
But what am i supposed to do ?
Lets just say , a non living thing treats me better than a living thing .

So yeah , let me conclude that ,
The day that i will find true love , is the day when only ,
A true lady realizes how much i love the floor .
And she is able to see how much am i devoted to it .
Realizing that it is my passion that i am pursuing ,
And also at the same time , giving it all the love that i can give ..

She must not love me for the sake of loving ,
She must not love me out of sympathy ,

But she must love me because ,
She sees burning desire when it comes to proving ,
She must love me because she respects me and what i do ,
She must love me because she sees the struggles ive been through ,
And want to be part of it ,
And most importantly ,
She MUST ,
Love me because , she loves me for who i am .

And i am .............

A B-boy .

2009-12-02T02:59:00.000+08:00

Faith keeps me alive-
for it is engraved in my veins,
flowing into this heart of mine.
Worries filtered, dissipating,
no restrictive stones of doubt.

Platelets clot pessimism,
as optimism breaks through
the permeable membrane
concealing my heart,
feelings revealed from within.

Therapeutic words twirl
coated in intimacy
securing my soul.
Protective and supportive
fibers constructed of love...
embrace me.

Hope will forever live on.

2009-12-01T03:36:00.002+08:00

Hey world , and all thats living and non-living ~

So well recent days have been mundane ,
Only just one thing making me happy and makes
Me feel the static just by one thought =)

School has been boring .
I have AIT Excel test this friday .
And next week AIT Access test .
What a bummer -___-

But my friends have been so chaotic ! Haha .
My group of friends in school are the best !
And yes , Nazz is currently having his ECSTACY happiness period .
LOL . Bro , cherish what your supposed to cherish alright ?
You know what i mean , haha ! =D

My cut on my forehead is slowly healing , alhamdullilah .
But my thumb and knees arent healing that fast .
And its hard for me to practise my bboying .
But fcuk it , haha , no pain no gain .
Tough situations dont last , tough people do !!

My breaking form has changed .
No more abstract .
Maybe just having the feel of being me , and nothing else .
Original flava ~
Thats what i'll stick to .

Well i have nothing else that i can remember to update . Haha .
I'll update again soon enough .

Water lilies keep floating on the surface of my pond of thoughts ~
=)

Peace On Earth !
Originality Never Ends !

2009-11-25T22:01:00.001+08:00

With fury comes the wage of a war ,
It foresees a destructive aftermath , judgement day draws ,
Realistic expressing cryptic flows of alphabetic energy ,
Dignity up high simplicity shown but complicating mentally ,
Similarly , i potray an image that might be a false alarm ,
No harm , only to myself i damn , to all of u , i show my charm ,
Suns unarmed but are armed by knowledge ,
Germination to the space of thoughts bringin physical damage ,
Obliterate , all the fond braincells of unity thats bonded ,
Wat for shud i keep when all ur actions are deliberate ,
U show no love , u get no respect ,
I obscure this so that u'll never get the facts .

2009-11-24T01:24:00.002+08:00

Hey world , peace be upon you .

Quick recap , West G drew 3-3 in our league match .
We had only 9 men due to irresponsible team members .

Guess what i got from the match ?
Haha , a very lovely present , a mark to remember , LOL .
I got a nasty cut on my forehead .
I didnt realize or felt it at first ,
But soon as i saw blood dripping , i panicked ,
Straight away washed it ,

Luckily our opponent had a player who was a medic .
He treated my cut and applied all the necessary stuffs .
Thankful for that , i appreciate it .

Now i hope that this will recover soon .
I went for break prac just now , and i wasnt feeling good .
I felt soooo dizzy .
And now , when i'm wearing my glasses ,
At times , it hurts my eyes , its like a strain or something .
But alhamdullilah this wasnt a very deep cut .
Things would've been much much worst somehow .

Okay i shall stop here for tonight ,
Getting all drowsy with words already , haha .

*fuses in the air...*

P.S : LOL .

2009-11-22T02:35:00.000+08:00

People do not seem what they are .
Bringing you up and breaking you down ,
Holding you tight , when they're just squeezing us out of anger .
Holding you close , just to not run out of supply ,
Potraying a mask of hope and a glimmering light of faith ,
But ending up seeing the exact same mask thrown in the dustbin .

TRUST .
Easy to say , easy to gain , easy to be done ,
But once betrayed , the difficulty level of gaining it back ,
TIMES 2 .
For each time betrayed .
Trust is FRAGILE .

It is a transparent glass similar to the mirror ,
Able to reflect oneself or others ,
Seemingly assumed as a good thing ,
But turns bad as the mirror shatters ,
7 years of bad luck ?
Left the pieces of the mirror to decay .
Putting it back , almost impossible ,
It takes a miracle ,

And that miracle will be the only miracle ,
When someone , somehow ,
Is patient enough to put the pieces back together ,
And prove that impossible is nothing ,
But most importantly ,

TRUST does EXIST .

2009-11-18T00:34:00.002+08:00

Every time i lay on my bed , trying to put myself to sleep ,
I have this crazy sets of thoughts .

Like how i may not be the only one who wants to travel ,
Everybody wants to ,
But i really am dying to ,
If i did have the chance ,

I'll scale through the heights of many mountains ,
Run through the mainlands of lush evergreens ,
Dive down the oceans and touching life in a different climate ,
I'll capture myself among beds of flowers ,
Run wild with the animals , joining a stampede(though i'd be killed) ,
Image myself among the popular icons of architecture located around the world ,
Meet new people , people of different skin colors , races , and languages ,
Help those who are in need , aiding the poor , uplifting those in hardships ,
I would do wonders more than these if i had the chance to travel .

Will i ever encounter success ?
Is success a word which motivates yourself to be hardworking and persevere
To get what you always wanted or what you've been aiming for ?

Is life worth fighting for , when you're not at a standard state .
The disability and that disadvantage that certain people have ,
What does it feel like ? Does it feel like you want to give up ?
Would you rather see the world beyond ?

What does it feel like living in a continent whereby
Bombs are the alarm clocks in every morning ,
Rifles are the so called 'raindrops' occurring each monsoon season ,
Screams of agony are the voices or lullaby that they hear when they get to sleep at night ..
Torture , slavery , fighting for rights and freedom ,
Fighting for NOTHING .
Why is this happening ?

Where are we all going in this life of ours ?
No matter if we are all in good or bad situations ,
Are we all doing this correctly ?
Are we all living in false pretenses and false reality ?
If so , why isnt there anyone to correct us ?
Why must it always be GOD who gives us fate ,
Situations , to make us realize that we are wrong at times .
And that we should cherish what we do not see we have all along .

Why do some fight for what is not right ?
And knowing that the consequences are unbearable .

I do not understand .
Not only me .
Everyone in this world does not understand .
Some live happily not thinking about whats next ,
But there are some who live happily , but still have the time
To think of whats next .

Whats worth living life for when you are always in the wrong when u are doing right things ?
Always getting to know things last , getting blamed for what you did not do .
Always facing negativity for such long periods of time .
And no sense of goodluck near to life .
Always praying and hoping things around would be fine , blessed with good health .
But still , having the negativity thrown straight to the face .
Is GOD just testing us ?
Doing all the right things and yet still having the bad thrown at you ?
When is the breakthrough of all good occurring ?
When do these kind of people get their happy ending ?
Or are there no happy endings for us ?

What is love ?
Love is a sweet destruction that breaks a whole heart in the end .
Memorable but despicable when ended .
Should we or should we not give up ?
They say love makes the world go round .
But all i see is many different worlds of million types of couples .
We are all in a different world .
Some dont have the chance to love .
Everybody deserves a chance , but why are we not given one ?

Why must the goodlooking destroy the hearts of many ,
Then those with the broken pieces dont give a chance to the new upcoming ones .
Why ?
Why does it go that way ?
If you have good assets , use it wisely and correctly ,
Be thankful that you have it , and not use it for your own advantage .
Every human wants love ,
But some , just are willing to give more love than come certain others ,
Who are not appreciating what they have ..

Nobody dies a virgin ,
Cause in the end ,
LIFE FUCKS US ALL .

All i can do now is to ,

Live life to the fullest , no matter what happens cause ,
When i was born , everyone around me was smiling and i was crying ,
And so , if i die , let everyone around me cry ,
And i , will be smiling .

~

2009-11-17T16:39:00.003+08:00

So how has life been ?
Simply indescribable .

Well , i heard that tonight , midnight ,
There will be a meteor shower sighting over at
Japanese Garden .

This is a rare occurrence !
And i am most ecstatic about this .
Maybe my lil sister will be tagging along too , that is ,
If shes not tired though .

But before this spectacle event ,
I will be breaking over at taman jurong first .
Gotta keep up with my skills and delve into new stuffs .

Ohh and yes , before you judge a human ,
Reflect yourself , you're no different at all ,
WE ARE ALL HUMANS .
Bare that in MIND .

You want to talk shit ,
Remember THE SHITS you've been doing all these while .

Peace ~

2009-11-14T01:37:00.000+08:00

The Rose

In the bright clarity of the morning you rise,
I know of nothing more to enchant our eyes.
You smile to the spring and the summer nascent.
You sing the new season when the winter descent.

Flower of the poet perfume the sky so blue
To uplift our souls in the silvery dew.
You warm our hearts when at last you blossom
Delight for my eyes, alive, you are awesome

Of all our gardens Rose you are the princess
You seduce my soul by so much finesse.
Marvellous beauty, your grace so elegant
Your alluring perfume to my nostrils enchants

Thou divine jewel, flower of seduction,
The present the lover offers for his passion
For your return each year the gardener will pray
And once more creating for Lovers the bouquet

2009-11-13T04:31:00.001+08:00

No matter where you are- how far you've gone
In the same way, you'll find a mournful dawn
A dying candle with its last desperate light
Can not hold long, light up your hopeless night

Meaning of some things- you'll never get
Orphan life- lingers like unloved guest
And you wander like a hopeless thought
Forgotten by those, who need you not

You escape- in frozen silence, you breathe
But memory from the past creeps in beneath
No matter what you do- how much you try
Suddenly a bitter feeling will make you cry

- An Earthly Request

2009-11-09T20:16:00.000+08:00

Surviving without any water or even care,
the enigmatic cactus flower bloomed alone
in a harsh tropical desert lost somewhere,
hidden by its shy thorns and a quiet stone.

Adaptable to arid surroundings, silently it grew
pretending to be strong when it was so fragile.
Afraid of dark afternoons and everything new,
The cactus flower learnt to live in tender exile.

Being difficult to handle due to its spiky spines,
It is a beauty hardly ever cultivated or admired.
But even in solitude, this flower always shines
As it has the qualities a difficult life required.

Lovely plant of sweet pricks people fear
But they don't know your pain and scars
Or even how many times you shed a tear
Sighing and gazing at the golden stars.

A delicate enigma, this flower will always be
for people who are heartless and totally blind
as it holds the mysteries some are unable to see,
those which are the most beautiful and refined.

2009-11-05T00:40:00.000+08:00

They say a mirror reflects oneself .
But put in a perception of complexity .

You yourself being the mirror .
Being able to go anywhere around ,
Meeting people ,
Greeting the elderly respected .
Countering the young manipulative minds .

YOU .
Being able to reflect the other party's image and personality deep inside .
Once in sight , the first hello might be the first goodbye .
As you will know the intentions of oneself with one greet .
Analyzing every single cell , down to the blood .
A mirror you yourself are , feeling good .
But put greed intentions away .
When you have total power you must have total control .

The mirror might be a normal everyday object .
But the mirror is invincible ,
Once knowledged purely and mindfully .

2009-11-02T01:21:00.001+08:00

In desperation wings of artistry flutter,
determined to fly once more.
Cognition spurs the muse, chest heaving,

body quivering straining to rise,
yet like a cumbersome stone,
falls unsuccessful to the ground.

Dazed,confused ,eyes blurry unfocused,
thin ribbons of air reaching his lungs.
Mind racing for some understanding,

aspirations suddenly burst into flames.
Wind of realization breaking through the fog,
he'd lost his grip on tendered things.

He used to soar, played among the clouds,
hopes inspired sweet poetic revelations.
Passion the wind beneath her feathers,

rose like air to immeasurable heights,
leaving behind drab shadows of doubt.
Severed appendage of dreams, modify liftoff.

2009-10-27T02:27:00.002+08:00

Hey diablog !
Wow , new post , and i dont know where to start .

Well lets start off with my birthday ! Hehe .
It was all a surprise !
No wonder most of my friends were acting weird that time .
LOL .
All of them "pakat pakat" sia .
Haha .
I was like , whats wrong sia with all of u ?
Especially to my family members . Haha .
But i am truly blessed with that surprise party . Seriously ,
I didnt expect anything .
Thank you all of you for the surprise !

And to those who wished me on facebook ,
Messages or whatever .

A BIG THANK YOU ALL OF YOU !

You guys made my 18th a good one . Hehe .

After my surprise party we headed to C.A's party !
Yo !
It was the bomb ! Haha .
Had games , food , lucky draw and dancing !
We cyphered , and i had a birthday battle .
Everything was tight !
Thanks C.A ! You the man my man , hahaha .
Happy 23rd b ~

That saturday was the best saturday ever !
Once again though im repeating ,

Thank you friends , families , crew !

And and i got a new buddy !
His name is , Domokun A.K.A , Guagahahaga !
Hahahaha , the best buddy ever ! LOL ~

Okay im done , hehe , what else is there to post ?
Im not so sure , now i am at a state of blankness !

To those taking their O'levels ,
GO GO GO ! YOU GUYS CAN DO IT !
Fate has faith in everyone of you ! Hehe .
Especially on a tinkerbell , LOL =D

Okay okay , i should try sleep now ,
Havin my napfa test tmr .
Damn !
No worries ! Ive been working out !
And lost 7 kg in 3 days , *wink wink*
LOL !

Peacey peacey ........

2009-10-23T01:25:00.001+08:00

Living as a dull star for years,
Never release ray of light ever,
Losing hope drowned with soul,
Shall say goodbye to tomorrow.

Ascent of sun makes changes,
Affecting others like a ranger,
Strength of it's power never known,
Until it break a single ice stone.

Dead turned to the Sirius,
Raise the warmth of the Everest,
Shadowed itself at corona,
Absorbing it's light at a corner.

Moving nonstop in the space,
Neglected star that off the pace,
Star's galaxy witnesses entirety,
Bright sun sealed by obscurity.

2009-10-20T04:09:00.003+08:00

Our bodies are given life from the midst of nothingness.
Existing where there is nothing is the meaning of the phrase,
"form is emptiness."
That all things are provided for by nothingness is the meaning of the phrase,
"Emptiness is form."
One should not think that these are two separate things.

Life at its best ,
Stranger , its not that i dont care about what you've said .
I just don't bother .
You know what , yeah so what if its true that i'm nothing .
So what if i'm facing negativity most of the time .
So what if i'm dumb .

At least i am strong enough to know all these ,
And at the same time , stand strong no matter what happens .
Or as a matter of fact , no matter what other people say or think .
I will always be me .
I am thankful for who i am .
And what i am .

I might be in the shadows ,
But its in the shadows that i shine ,
If you dont know what i mean , think harder .

I believe in karma .
What goes around , comes around ,
And you'll be spinning in circles ,
Simply makin a fool of yourself .
Tsk .

Dude ,
no one knows the DAMAGE i can really do .
Youve tried me , mentally , still you fail .
Reveal yourself .
Approach me , i'll be nice if you are nice .
If you are not ,
Let me reconsider ,
See if you can escape from me .
=)

So lets forget about this shall we guys and girls ?

So today , i had my CMPB medical checkup .
Hooooharrr !
It was fun , haha , didnt expect my day to turn out this way .
Everything turned out great .
Am feeling weak though now .
I didnt get enough rest .
Look at the time now , 4.20am .
Still not asleep , and school's at 10am later .
Damn .

Well , i will try get some shut eye .
Sandman , please put me to sleep ?

P.S : What do you call a very blur fairy ? =)

2009-10-15T02:03:00.002+08:00

To stranger From Fate

Firstly ,
I would like to thank you for everything that you said to me .
I take this all as a compliment because it makes me stronger .
The reason i didnt replied you was because ,
I had better things to do than to entertain you .
Anyways , you told me not to say a word on the phone .
What ? So you're tellin me you have amnesia ?
I did not tell my friends to stand up for me .
But lucky me , i have good friends unlike you .
If you call me hopeless and a fake ,
I dont see any reason why my friends still stood up for me . (thank you friends)
As long as you're happy doing what u are doing now ,
Then im fine with it .

Well what can i say ,
Everythings FATEd .

Thank you , my lovely friends who have stood up for me .
I really appreciate what you have done ,
But i think its better if we keep quiet and let the person say whatever he/she wants .
As long as he/she is happy , i am happy ..

Excuse for dying ,
Reason to live .

I believe that whatever happens ,
I have to accept it , cause whatever happens ,
Are all what god wants to make it happen .
Theres always a reason behind every occurance .

And logically , theres a reason why my name is , Fate .

2009-10-13T16:21:00.003+08:00

"Words arent able to describe these boxes of feelings , emotions , expressions ,
Even a symphony couldnt relate a tune or a melodious wayfarer to his destination "

So , school's restarted .
First two days at bore .
But it feels good being able to see my classmates again .
Though , i still feel stucked up cause my nocturnalism is still present .
I have no idea how to reverse this spell .

Anybody have an antidote ?
Hahaha ~ Damn ...
Its alright , i will figure out something , eventually .

WOW .
I dont know what to write about !
Im still DUMBSTRUCKED .
Hahaha .
Okayyy , well , i'll post a proper post soon ?
*wide smile*

Poem : Clearly Proven.

I do not blame men , for lost of trust to women ,
I blame boys being immature , to a female mind , it is proven

Everytime a female heart breaks , it deteriorates one male soul ,
Guys wake up , is this fair to those men who have no love at all ?

Good looking men , receive large amounts of interest , but do u receive it with sincerity ?
Unattractive men , receive none , but they are willing to give sincere love to those in need of true company ,

Therefore i say its a curse and good looking men are beautiful for the purpose of destruction ,
Look at the damage they did , Us from the invisible life are living in devastation ,

Not meaning to say we invisible shadows are desperate ,
But humans tend to wonder why things go the other way , and always inaccurate ,

Each and every cell in this world deserves true love ,
But look at what people do when they have power and control ,
Everything for personal satisfaction , like greed for gold ,

I do not blame men , for lost of trust to women ,
I blame boys being immature , this time , it is clearly proven .

2009-10-03T06:31:00.003+08:00

You see my eyes have been wide opened .
But its how i pay attention to every single thing in life .
Both reality , and fantasy .
Superficial , many might think that it is beyond belief .
But we should get our facts straight .

Theres more than meets the eye .
Life is also a computerized journal .
It tells a story .
Each of us hold certain attributes that we dont feel we have .
And again , beyond belief .
There are certain information thats ripped off from our lives .
Immediate chain reaction .
Once god foresees that we feel we have to discover something new ,
He takes that something away from us .

Back to square one .

If life is a reincarnation chain to rebuild the human mind ,
Think again .
Has reincarnation always been visible to our eyes ?
Do we always realize something happening , not until it really disappears for good ?

One Dimensional .
Two Dimensional .
Three Dimensional .
FOUR Dimensional .

Each dimensions , each with different beings .
Discover your being in this three dimensional world its ALREADY HARD .
How about trying to discover yourself in the other dimensions .
Cause they really do exist .

My eyes are wide opened .
PLUS ,
I have paid close attention .

Now ,
If i only knew how to pierce through seven skies ,
To get through the 8th level ,
But i dont , it is impossible , or it might be impossible .
I know most of the knowledges i learnt well .
But only one i havent even surpass the first barrier of that particular knowledge .

The truth hidden in lies ,
My eyes are wide opened ,
BUT ,
There are too much things that the eye cant focus on .

2009-09-30T03:24:00.002+08:00

Wow i have been exhausted .
I gotta say , i somehow feel myself evolving .
Breaking wise i meant .
New tunes make my body have experience to evolving .

Not only feeling and being the music ,
But also skill wise ,
Somehow , i feel that i am elevating to another level .
Well i wont say much .

Lets see how crazy i can get ~

Ive been practising alot with muhh man BoogieDee !
Yooo , anybody of you guys can say anything you all want .
But CRITICISM will only make him stronger .
So watchout for muhh funkay man DoubleDEE !

Shoutout to half of my banana duo ~

I am proud of my mates today .
We had prac over at RP .
All of us were on form !
You brothers are getting it right finally .
LaRhythmScoop , Angel , Zym , Ash , Predicx ,
You guys keep this up ayte !

And ive got news that my brother oneski and his krusty kru
Are back safe in singapore .
Welcome back ~
Hope to see you soon bro , you gots lots to tell and i know it ~

And to make a note ,
Rhythmic Stylez Crew
Has entered Zion 9 ~

Therefore end result ,

ABINGO RHYTHM TRIBE ~

Watchout Fellas ,
Dont mess with the tribe ~

-

Patience is the key .
So lets just sit still .
Move abit .
Dance alot .
Sit back again .
Just relax .
And god will reward you for your patience .

P.S : Im loving my blog song ! Feel feel feel it ! Blind ..... Leading The Blind .....
My favourite song currently , and hmmmm ...... always ? Hahaha !

Peaceeeeeeeeeee ~

2009-09-27T03:34:00.002+08:00

I am terribly sorry for not updating lately .
Things have been sooo feisty .

Well , nothing much happened lately .
Ive been breakin like , for everyday .
Its a way of life ! Haha .
And to add on , my holidays still on for like how many weeks .
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee ~

And i know its quite early ,
But i would like to wish those who are takin their O's this year ,
All the best guys ! Your time is now !
All those hardwork will definitely payoff .
Keep your cool , stay calm , let ur mind do the work throughout all the papers .
Ohhh yes , this goes to my jollygood friend , JEANBOBABWE .
Dont be lazy !!!

And to those young guns takin their PSLE too .
Especially to my little evil sister .
ALL THE BEST !
Quit playing around , and be serious ,
While i enjoy =D

So lets see , anything interesting happened lately ?
Im not soo sure myself .
How should i say this ,
I rather am feeling weird these days ,
Though i admit that im weird all the time . Haha .
So yeah , i have nothing else to add on .

Anyone out there believe in toothfairies ?

2009-09-23T03:43:00.002+08:00

Hari Raya has been fun and exhausting .
The atmosphere was different though for all of us .
We truly miss my late grandma .
But we all come to realize how grateful we should be as ,
We felt her presence around the house during the 1st day of raya .

And yes to all those who wished through messages ,
Sorry if i didnt reply ,
It gives me a big headache with so many messaging at one time .
So yeah , to everyone that i know and to all that i dont ,
Selamat Hari Raya , maaf zahir dan batin .
May god bless your presence and live life happily .
Be thankful with whatever that you have .

I am very happy so have such fun and loving family and relatives .
Our bond keeps on growing stronger and stronger ,
Each meeting , and each day .

With note of a new paragraph ,

I am tired with this universal essential thing you call love .
Tired of the kind of girls these days .
A girl who pays real attention in reality is rare .
Nevertheless , being patient is the key to everything .
But for now ,
I guess i will just keep being what i be best ,
And thats being The Hitch .
Helping out anyone who has problems or in doubts or hardships .

But like my cyberfriend huda said, not everyone is the same .
So yeap yeap ,
MOST is not equal to ALL .
I agree with you =)

World, earth, dimensions, blackholes, bermudas, space,
Smile always , all of you , wherever you're from .

2009-09-18T05:32:00.004+08:00

I'd like to share a story.
Today, i helped this friend of mine,
We go way back, he was my childhood friend.
I was so happy and blessed to have met him coincidentally.
So we sat down, and just shared whats been going on through our lives.

I explained mine to him, and he did his explanations of his life too.
Knowing that i love to help people alot,
He asked me for help.
Regarding girls.

See, he says that he is not that good looking,
And he is wondering why girls these days go for looks?

And he adds that,
MOST girls always say, "Beauty gets the attention,personality gets the heart"
But they are just saying that for the SAKE of SAYING.
They don't really MEAN it.

He experienced heartbreaking situations like mine.
Almost every girl he knew kept saying that looks doesnt matter.
But end up, they themselves drift away from him intentionally,
Knowing that he is way out of their league.
I would love to explain in detail about the situations he experienced,
But its his personal matters, so i will keep it private.
But gosh, it kinda boils me up hearing those stories.

I mean, COME ON GIRLS.
Grow up will ya?
Give these kinda people a chance to show who they really are.
FCUK You if you keep saying looks doesnt matter but end up,
IT DOES MATTER .
That's so immature!

Potraying a good side of yourself so that an ATTRACTIVE GUY can notice you.
Tsk tsk, what a turn off.
There are much more boys who are willing to give sincere love but its ignored.

IGNORANCE IS A BLISS?
..................
HELL NO.

Its time all of you realize, stop pretending.
Be yourself.
You want looks go for looks.
Dont state that "looks doesnt matter" and shit.

And please, to those who always say guys are busted,
Guess you chose the wrong ones!
Ehhh wait wait wait, its not guess,
ITS ALREADY STATED.
Come on, dont be dumb.
I thought girls are more matured?
Thats pathetic, i see only a few.

Well, shouldnt say much.
I guess we all have to accept these kinda things. LOL.
Fated.

But chill ayte Akmal,
Dont bother about the ones who are ignorant,
Bother about those who pay more attention in life.
There are a few, and its hard to find one,
But be patient bro, it always pays off. =)
Hope to see u again soon!

2009-09-16T06:15:00.003+08:00

Its been since last week.
I cant seem to breathe as per normal these days.
I have been taking quite a number of deep breaths every time.
Something must be wrong with me.
My body is not feeling right.
Furthermore, i have been nocturnal eversince.
If i'm not wrong, for about 3 months plus.
Could this be the problem?

Mum is totally worried about me.
Well, so am i.
I will hope and pray that nothings wrong with me.
Sighs.

2009-09-16T05:58:00.001+08:00

You're cool in the sense
that its rare that
I hear someone speak
so elequently
you're kind in the sense
that your words help me
get through a bad day
I never seen your face
but I think it doesn't matter
because you are spellbinding

2009-09-14T06:14:00.001+08:00

What will you lose if you smile ,
Even though life brings only pain & sadness.

What will you lose if you smile ,
Although this world becomes full or wars & disasters...

What will you lose if you smile ,
When the closest people abandoned you & let you down.

What will you lose if you smile ,
Even if people smile to your face , then plunge the knife in your back

what will you lose if you smile ,
Although you fall in real love & all you get back is heartache

What will you lose if you smile ,
Even though your soul mate betrays , lies , smiles fake

What will you lose if you smile ...
As the proverb says :
" Smile & the world smiles with you "
Cry & nobody cares .

If we frown nothing will change or get better ,
Keep smiling , beaming and grinning ...
Because really nothing deserves .

2009-09-13T02:13:00.002+08:00

Perhaps love is, a state of mind
Or a feeling deep within
That grows and blooms most every day
For the joy that it can bring
Perhaps love is, so fleeting
Like the blinking of an eye
One minute it is with us
Then the next, it passes by

Perhaps love is, so many things
That we cannot contemplate
Like pure and raw emotions
Or our destiny and fate
Perhaps love is, most everything
That causes us to crave
For things that cannot ever be
From the cradle to the grave

Perhaps love is, the unison
Of two people who are one
Entwined in each and every way
From dawn, till setting sun
Perhaps love is, the tie that binds
Through life and death as well
To meet again beyond the grave
Be it heaven, be it hell

Perhaps love will, find us one day
So true without deceit
And make us feel that we are whole
Then set our hearts to beat
Perhaps love can, give reason to
Believe in destiny
And someday soon, there will be love
For you, as well as me.

2009-09-11T23:42:00.002+08:00

Optical illusion .
That's life .
First you positively see through the situation ,
But as you focus deeper ,
You find that the first image has somehow changed to another image .
Or rather , changed to nothingness .

Sometimes you just think that you know life ,
And that you can define what's life .
But i bet everyone feels the same way ,
What i mean is , once you have your own definition ,
You will seem to ponder a moment after defining it .
Am i right ?

Because things can go one way or the other .
Is it me ?
Or am i just thinking too much ?
Or is it just my own intellectual knowledge playing around with my space of thoughts ?
Is it evolving ?
Graphic manipulation occurs all the time .
Its like the spread of metastasis ,

I dont like mathematics .
But i do wanna see and have the beautiful version of mathematics .
Just that now , i have none .
And always had none .
And when fate has spoken its destiny , accept it .
I guess i have to learn ,
That im not cut out for this , beautiful version of mathematics .

Or should i not speak too soon ?

2009-09-11T18:22:00.004+08:00

So this morning before sahur ,
Me doubledee and elfie ,
Went out to practice breaking at around 1 plus am .

Then we decided to take some videos of us breaking .
I initially wanted to make a trailer of my present self .
So that i can be able to compare how much ive evolved in the future .
Hahaha ,
So were recording and stuffs ,
Roamed around to find nice spots to break at .
There were numerous spots .

After recording ,
Elfie went home and Doubledee slept over at my house .
We were excited to edit the videos when suddenly .....
We converted the videos cause we were supposed to ,
If not , we are unable to edit it .
And so when we played the end result ,
The video was moving damn fast ! Hahaha !
Really spoils my mood .
Now we have to retake those videos . Damn .

Alright , currently im blogging ,
Waiting to break fast soon , hehe .
Not so sure about what im gonna do later .
Ohh wait i am sure !
Bboying ? LOL , as usual , all day , everyday .
Since theres nothing to do . =)

2009-09-10T16:17:00.003+08:00

Currently i am feeling so damn incredibly bored .
I seem to be unable to login to facebook !
I have no idea why .
Stupid computer .
Everything else seems to be working fine and all .

Facebook is just a letdown !

Well , i am clueless about what to post today .

I guess in life , we all have to learn to take RISKS .
And by risks , we will appreciate a sacrifice .
Because risks and sacrifices are a must to do .
Without it , we will not be able to learn something new .

If we dont experience a number of things now ,
We are not prepared for the future ,
Though if we do experience , we still are not prepared for the future .
As life is unpredictable .

We learn something now ,
We will learn something new that we dont know in future .
So dont be stuck here in the present and give up .
Move on , live life .
Embrace it with positivity and always be on the right track .
Know whats right , and whats wrong .

And yes as my tagboard friend , huda said ,
Patience .
It might just be one word .
But one word means everything .
Like how a picture paints a thousand words .

Will update soon again .

2009-09-09T18:03:00.003+08:00

Wow , you know , time flies so fast .
Fasting month can slow the time when its in the day ,
But sooner you'll realize that time is moving itself fast .
I am so curious about time .
Time is so unpredictable , and it can go both ways .

Well , the exam yesterday marks today ,
The first day of my holiday !
Woohoo !
A month plus of freedom .
But i dont know what to do ?
You know that feeling ,
Whereby you just hope for the holidays to come ,
But as it does arrive , you find yourself at a state of blankness .

For all i know ,
I will be breaking allout !
Since ive nothing else to do .
Haha .
Thats what i do best ,
And that is what i want to pursue in life .
I wanna go far , and i show all of you that i can .

Thought i might be transparent of invisible to all ,
One day , i will reverse the spell .
An explosion of Fate the RareGrenade .

Well apart from all these excitement ,
Breaking , family , friends and all ,
I find it rather quiet in my personal life .
Seemingly weird , but not much people that needs help nowadays .
And i have no one to help nor aid .
Maybe the Hitch needs a break ?
A time out ?
Maybe its time to find the space for myself .
But everyday is a space for myself .
Damn , i cant figure this out .

Maybe i just miss the feeling and the features of love ?
This could be it .
Ohhh well .
Like i said , no one sees me .

2009-09-05T05:11:00.002+08:00

I Learnt Something Upon Arising From The ASH .

Love is not like a drug, Love IS drug.
Face it, we experience HIGH the first time we have it.
Long after, we became habituated to their company.
Hence we need more of the SAME person to get more 'hits'
To experience high-ness.
Human nature at its peak.

Well , I Can Never Disagree To This .
I Would Like To Say All , But I Wont Assume ,
So I Would Say , Most Will Feel This Way .
Love Is A Special Thing Every Humans Face .

And As We Face , We Learn .
What To Do , What Not To Do .
When It Comes To Defining Whats Love ,
None Will Have That True Definition ,
As Each Individual Will Have Their Own Ways And Opinion .

As For Me ,
I Wont Talk Much Now .
As I Agree With That Quote Above .
Thats All That Is Needed To Be Known .

I Shall Now End Off With ,

If You Love Someone , Love Him/Her With All Your Heart .
You'll Never Know What You Have Till Its Gone ..

So Dont Wait For It To Drift And Fade Away .
Treat It With Care .
TLC .
And All That Is Needed .

I Have Truly Learnt That Love Is Essential .
Thats Why I Call It The Essential Element .
I Have Realized Everything .
Though I Am Not At That State Of Adulthood .
I Understand .

To Those Lovebirds , Last Long In Your Journey .
Never Ever Treat Your Partners Wrong .
If There Are Disagreements Or Slight Quarrells ,
Settle Down And Just Have An Adult Conversation To Resolve It .
Never Let Go ,
Cause If You Do , You'll Regret ,
And Aftermath ,
You'll Learn That ,

"Never Let Go" SHOULD Be In Your Dictionary .
Don't Only Remember Those 3 Words " I Love You "

World Will Live And Love Better This Way .
Everything At Peace .

" Love Will Fly If Held Too Lightly ,
Love Will Die If Held Too Tightly "

2009-09-03T03:16:00.002+08:00

When i was young ,
Mama told me that as i grow up ,
I will learn that life is unfair , and that life is full of negativity in stored .
And now i look up upon the clouds ,
Mama was right .

Mama told me that as i grow up ,
I will learn the further meaning of love ,
And now i look upon my broken heart ,
Mama was right .

Mama told me that as i grow up ,
I will learn that my shoulders carry burden of hardship to achieve ,
And now i look upon my certificates , qualification and passion ,
Mama was right .

Mama told me that as i grow up ,
I will miss my childhood days and wish that i never grew up ,
And now i look through my childhood pictures ,
Mama was definitely right .

Mama once make me agree ,
That no matter what , the only woman i will trust is only her .
And now i look back ,
I regretted trusting another .

Mama taught me alot of things when i was young .
Mama used to have no time with me when i was a baby .
Mama was a busy woman , so was papa .
My relatives had to take care of me most of the time .
Especially grandma and grandpa .
Though i was small .
I learnt something ,
Sometimes , you dont need your parents to learn how to crawl .

Each and everyone of my family played a part on teaching me about life .
And i appreciate every lesson .
The only thing i regret was being such a rascal when i was young .
Im always the bad one .
So naughty and ignorant .

And as i grew up , i started to be rebellious , violent .
Not knowing that the word care existed .
My home was like a hotel .
Families became strangers .
Freedom was at its best .
Seemed that i had the motto ,
" Fuck the world ! Fuck any consequences ! "

Till one day , a miracle .
The dawn of a new day .
The subuh prayer .
I had fall into a deep abyss in my mind .
Flashbacks , of wrong doings ,
Sounds of voice , slowly manipulating my mind to change and do good .

Minutes later , there i was .
Not realising that i had laid down on the kiblat .
From that moment onwards .
I was a changed boy .

And now , i look at myself .
A guy with passion of b-boying .
A guy with a great need and love to help people .
A guy who loves the world and wants to spread peace .
A guy who tries his best to pursue anything to get what he wants .
A guy who has dreams and fantasies and wishes they come true .
A guy who faces downfalls instead of upstream success .
A guy whose life now is reversed .
There is more than meets the eye .
I have more to say , but why should i ? No one cares .

I am always helping people .
But when they dont need help .
They run away , i am not remembered ,
I am nothing , i am just a ball .
Being kicked around .

I may not be goodlooking or whatever .
But if you can see through me ,
You'll understand ,
I have that heart of gold , i mean good , not bad .
Sometimes i wish , i was transparent .
I already am . I guess .

Mama taught me alot of things ,
Grandpa showed me adventure and not to fear things ,
Grandma showed me the beautiful side of life ,
Little sister taught me to be patient ,
Dad didnt taught me much ,

But what he did taught me was ,

" Fuck the negativity
Live like u rule the world
Have fun like theres no one seeing you
Get what u want
Enjoy LIFE
You got one life ,
LIVE IT TO THE FULLEST
Nothing can stop you , BUT
the next stop that you might never know you'll face
is DEATH "

2009-09-02T03:33:00.002+08:00

I find the serenity of clarity deep in reality ,
Waterfalls rise upstream downstream flows of marine life ,
If things they say should be according to one arrow ,
Realise how things appear the other way round when everythings in accord .
So with that being said , let's fight the accord .
Let's counter the truth .

If us , anyone of you , counters the truth ,
I applaud you .
You dare counter the truth ?
Even if you did , all you countered with was with a lie .
Now that makes you a sinner .

You counter the truth by first accepting the truth ,
Understand the truth and analyze the truth ,
Once you're in accord with the truth ,
You manipulate the truth .
The aftermath , will never have the same result among all of us .
Cause we all have different minds .

It's best to step back , and observe with couth ,
For we all must meet our moment of truth .

Spotless .
The gas drawls , human brawls .
Toxic ? Or Intoxication ?
The universal data in matter of destruction .
Phoenix rages the atmosphere ,
Gaia overgrowing nature and the earth ,
Leviathan storming the seas ,
Everything is at its vengeance .

Not everything will sit still , even non-living things .
The wrath has different dictionaries .
Animals have their way of their books of Apocrypha .
The photocopying of truth from every source of third eye .

Like Egyptian pharaohs ,
Ascending a pyramid filled with flawless traps ,
What's the reason behind it ?
An unknown knowledge substance never to be revealed to one .

Because if an EVIL one upholds it .
It will be manipulated .
And change the energy .
To a NEGATIVE ion .

Universal of data in matter of DESTRUCTION .